Write a story opening about a disastrous trip to the zoo. Use as many super sentences as you possibly can! O(I) sentences and de:de sentneces are perfect for this task! Do not tell the reader what is happening, make them guess from what you are showing them in your writing by using the show me style writing we have discussed in our narrative poems. For example, instead of saying ‘the boy was angry’, you might write ‘he clenched his fists and his face turned as red as a traffic light’.
As we zoomed to the car, I thought about the animal of the world outside. I felt bored (inside I felt surprised)
I was into my video game, so I didn’t see much of what was going on.
As soon as we got there, I started to feel sick because I had been looking down at my game. I put down my window and I was very shocked as something gigantic and long necked stuck its head through my window !!
The elated boy sat comfortably in his car seat waiting excitedly to see the animals up ahead. Suddenly, their was a ferocious tiger staring at him through the computer screen now he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go. The boy felt terrified and like he was about to faint,( however on the inside he was excited to see what the creature could do when he got there. ” One hour to go!”called his mum from the front of the car. The boy was anxious: he still didn’t know if he would like it or not.
the elated boy was on his phone so he felt sick .As he entered the zoo in the car he felt a wet cold sensation on his ear.what was it?was it the wind?It was like someone was rubbing sandpaper onto his face. “EWWWWWW!” screamed his annoying sister “There’s a donkey licking your face!!!